(Still reflecting back on my days at the Prairie Bible Institute. If you haven’t been reading along, please go back to the May 12 posting and start there so the whole thing will make sense.)
Am I sorry I went? No. Did I receive some awful, awful emotional wounds because of the interaction of the deeper life theology, my youthful idealism, and seasonal affective disorder? Yes. When I was unable to “enter in” to the deeper life, I could only conclude that I was sinfully unwilling to surrender some part of my life. The guilt that accompanied this made the seasonal depression much, much worse.
Did I hear clearly from God and obey correctly? Would He really lead an idealistic kid with seasonal affective disorder to go north to school where I would receive less sunshine in the winter? Wasn’t there someplace in the sun belt where I could have learned the same things?
As far as I can determine, I believe God did call me to go north to school. Why? Let me tell you what I do know, what I am sure of. Never argue with the Perfect Mind. Obey Him as best you can. Understand that you are never going to understand any more than a tiny fraction of what He knows. Obey. Adore. Worship. God is the most beautiful of all beings, and His perfect mind is indescribably beautiful and infinite in perfection. Always love and trust the Perfect Mind. Always obey Him as best you can.
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