Act One

The apostle Paul reminds us that “we walk by faith, not by sight.” (2 Cor. 5:7) The book of Hebrews defines faith as being “certain of what we do not see.” (Heb. 11:1 NIV) At the time of death our physical vision actually makes the process of grieving harder because it is trapped by the great optical illusion. We think we are looking at the person and the person doesn’t look good. The person looks dead. Our emotions respond to what our eyes are seeing and this deepens our grief.

One of the best ways to deal with this is to create a vivid mental picture of what has actually happened, and then to play this little movie over and over again in the theater of your mind as you grieve.

On the basis of thousands and thousands of stories told by people who have had “near death” experiences, I think that it is safe to assume that the person regains consciousness in spirit form while still in the presence of their body. They can see their body and everything in the room around them, but no one else in the room can see them because they are in spirit form. Based on what you know about the person who you are grieving for, reconstruct their probable reaction to being dead.

I’m pretty sure that I will react something like this. “Oh my goodness, that’s my body over there! This must mean I’m dead!” Followed quickly by, “I knew it! I knew it all along! I’m still alive even though my body is dead. It’s all true!”

This is the first act in your little mental movie. Visualize the person trying to interact with others in the room. “Hey, look, it’s me! I’m alright! I’m still alive!” Visualize them as they begin to understand that you can not see or hear them. Don’t visualize them as being afraid. People who relate these experiences say that they had no sense of fear. Visualize this as vividly as you can as often as you need to.