Fight!

Friend:  Okay, you’re suggesting that a parent who has just lost a baby needs to visualize that child in the arms of Christ and reread a spiritual experience of a 19th Century evangelist to seek solace in the midst of her grief.  [See the previous post.]  My question to you is this:  do you really think this can make a difference in the lives of these parents, given the enormity of the grief they have to deal with?  I’m trying to be completely realistic about this.  People in a situation like that are in enormous pain, more pain than you’ve probably ever been in.  What makes you think that what you are suggesting can really make a difference?

Mark:  Well, something has to and I believe that what I have suggested will, in fact, bring some relief and comfort.  But whether it is what I have suggested or something else, something has to work in this situation.

Friend:  What do you mean that “something has to work?”  God allows these situations to happen (and we haven’t even opened that particular can of worms yet).  How do you know that there really is anything more that you can do other than just tough it out and suffer through it?  If God allows it, what makes you think there is some kind of magic promise that will make some of the pain go away?

Mark:  Actually, I think there is a supernatural promise that will make some of the pain go away.  I think it’s an amazing promise and I think it’s something that is almost entirely overlooked these days.  Paul says that God is the “God of all comfort.”  (2 Cor. 1:3)  He didn’t say that God was the source of some comfort, He said that God is the God of all comfort.  He goes on to say that God “comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”  (v. 4)

So there you have it.  Paul suffered.  He experienced “afflictions.”  But in the midst of that He also experienced God’s comfort, and he experienced in such a way that he was able to share what happened to him so that others could be comforted in their trials.

So the challenge before us when we face these difficult situations is very clear.  Is what Paul had to say a bunch of empty words, or are these divinely inspired, God breathed words? [1]  If these are God’s own words then there has to be supernatural comfort available to me.  I can’t say that my situation is too horrible for there to be any real help for me because this is comfort that comes from an infinitely powerful, all wise being.

So we have to start here.  Something horrible has happened to me.  But God is with me.  He has promised to comfort me.  So I have to fight the good fight of faith in order to receive my comfort from God.

Friend:  So how do you “fight the good fight of faith” in a situation like this?

Mark:  I would do just what I suggested in our last conversation.  I would try and meet every encounter with grief with a faith focused thought of some sort.  What I have suggested should work, but it might very well be that God will send some other person into your life with a different insight for you to meditate on that will be of even more help to you.  In fact, I would be on the lookout for believers who have been through tough times and if they tried to share anything that was a help to them, I would keep my heart wide open to receive that.  Paul says that we can share the comfort we have received with others.[2]  But it is a fight of faith.  It’s not going to be easy.

Friend:  So that’s it?  A mind game?  A psychological technique?

Mark:  There are similarities, but it is far more than a psychological technique.  You are not just limited to the resources of your own little brain.  Our focus is God.  Our hope of comfort is from God.  We should fight the good fight of faith with the expectation that something supernatural will happen.  We are expecting God Himself to give us comfort.

Now there may be times when you are so overwhelmed that you can’t fight back at that moment.  I am suggesting that you respond in faith to your grief as often as you can, but I also understand that people might be going through something so deep, so overwhelming, that it temporarily paralyzes your whole inner being with pain and grief.  But as you can you need to respond in faith with whatever strength you have in that moment.

Let me give you an example.  Twice in my life I have been severely injured by other people.  These were emotional hurts, not physical pains.  In both cases I had to fight the good fight of faith to keep bitterness from gaining a foothold in my life.  If you’ve ever been hurt like this you know what I’m talking about.  You are minding your own business and all of a sudden the face of the person who hurt you comes to mind.  Your whole body tenses up.  You want to reach out and strike them, or at least find the most hate filled words you can and hurl them against that person.  You can literally find yourself shaking with rage and if you don’t fight back against it.  If you don’t challenge it bitterness and hatred can sink deep roots in the soil of your heart and poison your soul.

I fought my fight of faith by literally applying something that Jesus said.  “Pray for those who persecute you.”  (Matthew 5:44)  Every time I felt the rage begin to grow I prayed for those people.  I must have prayed for them hundreds, if not thousands of times over a three or four month period.  And from time to time, when I think back on those dark days, I still pray for them.  And I have to tell you, it worked.  I don’t hate those people.  I love them.  But the only reason that is possible is because I fought that good fight of faith.

Friend:  That doesn’t sound like a quick and easy solution.

Mark:  No, it doesn’t.  There is a reason why it is referred to a “fight” of faith.[3]  I can promise you this much, the longer you fight any give battle, the easier it gets, and the more blessing and comfort you receive.

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[1] 2 Timothy 3:15 says that “All Scripture is inspired by God.”  The Greek language translated “inspired by God” can be literally translated “God breathed.”  Speech is produced when your breath passes over your vibrating vocal cords.  Paul is saying that even though men wrote the Bible, it is just as much God’s own words as it would be if God had audibly spoken it.

[2] If this blog is ministering to you in a meaningful way then you need to be on the lookout for people who are going through the same kind of trouble that you are experiencing, and then you need to direct them to the website.

[3] “Fight the good fight of faith.”  1 Timothy 6:12

Everlasting Ecstasy

Friend:  So what is all this business about babies in heaven?  It’s all you seem to want to talk about lately.

Mark:  Well, the pastors of my church have a daughter who lives in California.  She fell down a few weeks ago.  And as a result of that simple fall she lost a baby that was due to be born in two weeks and nearly lost her life as well.  So I find myself thinking about the baby in heaven and the family left behind on earth.

Friend:  That’s horrible.

Mark:  And that’s just the beginning.  I have a cousin who recently lost a grandchild who was about eight months old.  And the other day we got a prayer request asking us to pray for a young mother who had accidentally backed her car over her 18 month old child and killed her.  If you combine that with the car accident, it really got me thinking.  (If you haven’t heard about the car accident see the March 27, 2011 blog posting.)

Friend:  With the exception of your car accident, these are tragic events.  They are overwhelming.

Mark:  That’s the perfect word:  overwhelming.  Is there some way I can help make these kinds of life events less overwhelming for people?  If they happened to me, would my faith give me to tools to keep from being overwhelmed?  What kind of a strategy should a person use?  How could you fight back against the pain and sorrow?  Do I have to let this tsunami of depression roll over me or is there some kind of life preserver that will help me keep my head above water?

Friend:  Surely you’re not suggesting that there is a spiritual technique that can eliminate the pain and sorrow?

Mark:  No, I wouldn’t go that far.  Paul doesn’t say that the hope of heaven cancels out our grief, he says that it help us not to grieve in the same way as people do who do not have the Christian hope (I Thess. 4:13).  But he takes the concept of grief and connects it at the hip with the concept of hope.  We have the hope of heaven and that comforts us as we grieve.  But to actually experience this comfort requires some strategy.

Friend:  What kind of strategy?

Mark:  In Colossians 3:2 Paul tells us to “set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.”  All of the mental pictures that will bring anguish and grief will be pictures of earthly things; the thought of not seeing the child take his first steps or hearing him say his first words.  Thoughts will come to you and you’ll see things like other people with their babies and you will definitely grieve, but you’ve got to give your mind someplace to go so that sharp edge of your grief can be dulled by the comfort of your hope.

Friend:  So you are suggesting that the mind should turn to pictures of heavenly things.  That’s seems a little vague to me.

Mark:  If I had just lost a child, I think that I would want to grab a hold of the most powerful concept I could and cling to it like it was a life preserver and I was being swept away in a tidal wave.

Friend:  So what picture would you cling too?

Mark:  I would lock on to the picture of my child experiencing everlasting ecstasy.  The concept of everlasting ecstasy is one of the most beautiful concepts I’ve ever encountered.  I would hold it tight and depend on it to keep me on the surface while the waves of sorrow washed over me.

Friend:  You’re going to have to be a little more specific than that.  “Everlasting ecstasy” isn’t a Biblical term.  What do you mean?

Mark:  The love of God is the ultimate drug and it produces the ultimate high:  unspeakable joy.  All human attempts to enter into a state of altered consciousness through alcohol or other drugs are failed attempts to feed a heart hunger that only the love of God can fill.  A baby in heaven will never, ever know this heart hunger.  He will never know sorrow, or fear, or pain.  He will be able to enter into the presence of God directly and live in a state of perpetual ecstasy.

Friend:  Okay, I get that, I think.  But how can you make a picture of that?  I’m getting a picture of a little kid with a tie dyed tee shirt sitting in front of the throne of God with glazed eyes and muttering, “Far out, dude!  This is just so groovy!” 

Mark:  Okay.  We’ve established that you are a child of the 60’s.  Your picture needs some work.  Our best bet in painting this picture is to look at some of the life experiences that people have had on earth that give us a foretaste of heaven.  The following experience is from Charles Finney’s autobiography.  It happened shortly after his conversion.

“The Holy Spirit descended upon me in a manner that seemed to go through me, body and soul. I could feel the impression, like a wave of electricity, going through and through me. Indeed it seemed to come in waves and waves of liquid love for I could not express it in any other way. It seemed like the very breath of God … No words can express the wonderful love that was shed abroad in my heart. I wept aloud with joy and love.”  

I could tell you twenty stories very much like that of experiences people have had of the love of God.  These experiences are rare on earth but they are the constant experience of people in heaven.

Friend:  Okay, I get what you mean.  But it’s pretty hard to make that into a picture.  What are we supposed to imagine?  At least my picture had the baby in a tie dyed shirt with a happy expression on its face.

Mark:  Okay.  Moment of total honesty, Mr. Child-Of-The-Sixty’s.  In your mental picture of the baby in heaven, was the baby smoking something?

Friend:  Ah, no comment.

Mark:  As I said, you mental picture needs work.  But it does grasp the basic concept.  We are talking about living in an altered consciousness.  To put it another way, in heaven we stop experiencing the emotional norms of life on earth and we enter into God’s own emotion experience.  God lives in a state of everlasting ecstasy.  The Father continuously feels the love of the Spirit and of the Son and this love produces inexpressible joy.  People in heaven live in that emotional environment.

Friend:  Do you have chapter and verse for that?

Mark:  “Just as the Father has loved me, I have also loved you; abide in my love.”  “These things I have spoken to you so that my joy may be in you and that your joy made be made full.”  (John 15:9, 11 NASB)  God is saying, “Abide, or live in the experience of My love.  Feel My divine joy.  Experience what I feel.”

Friend:  Okay, but how do you make a picture out of that?

Mark:  Two steps.  First, write down what Finney experienced on a card.  Read it over again.  And then put that together with the picture.

Friend:  But what picture?

Mark:  Haven’t you guessed?  He always had time for babies.  Even when He was insanely busy, with enormous demands on His time, if people brought Him babies or little children He would make time and take them in His arms and bless them.  I can just picture His smile as He held them.  So picture your baby/child in the arms of Jesus.  Picture the smile on His face.  And the reread what Finney experienced so you will know what your baby is feeling as he’s held in the arms of Jesus.

Someday I might just get pregnant

Friend:  So you think you may have one or two children in heaven that came from fertilized eggs that never implanted in Nancy’s womb.  That's absolutely wild.  What would that be like?  Being in heaven after leaving a body that only had 32 cells in it?

Me:  There is no way I could know for sure, but this is what I think.  I don’t think the little spirit baby waddles up to St. Peter and says, “Yo!  Big fisherman-person!  Change my diaper!”

The baby spirit wouldn’t know how to talk yet.  As an unborn baby it wouldn’t have had a chance to develop language skills and I’m guessing it probably wouldn’t be able to process and understand language as a spirit any quicker than it would have been able to if it had lived on in its body.

Friend:  So you think the spirit baby has to grow in knowledge just as it would if it had undergone normal development in a physical body?

Me:  I would assume that to be the case.  As a matter of fact, I would think that someone would need to “carry” the baby spirit up in heaven in much the same way that a mother “carries” the baby’s body while it’s in her womb.

Friend:  And just where would you “put” this baby?  How would you carry it?

Me:  I imagine that you would carry the baby in your heart; that is to say that the baby spirit would come to live in your spirit and, as it developed, begin to experience your emotions.  I think the spirit baby would be able to actually feel the love in your heart for him, to experience it directly.

Friend:  So the female spirits will carry the baby while the male spirits are out playing golf?

Me:  Actually, we are neither male nor female in the next life.  And I don't see any reason I couldn't take a turn beaming pure love into the little developing heart of some newborn human spirit someday.

Friend:  So instead of looking like you’re pregnant, you could actually be pregnant?

Me:  That's very cold.  You seem very cranky.  I think we need to bathe your soul in some liquid love.

Friend:  You can just keep your spirit inside your body, Mr. pregnant man.

Me:  Whatever.  It just seems to me that if a mother has to “carry” a baby in her body that a spirit in heaven might “carry” the spirit of an unborn baby in his heart.  The spirit of the unborn baby would be able to sense the presence of another being as it grew and developed.  I would imagine that the developing human spirit would be able to literally feel the love directly communicated from heart to heart by the person or persons “carrying” him.

Friend:  More than one person might be involved?

Me:  It might be a group effort in more ways than one.  On the one hand you might be able to trade off the baby between spirits.  On the other hand, you might be carrying the baby as a group of some sort.  Jesus made a truly remarkable statement in John 17:22 when He prayed that “they may be one just as We are one.”  The persons of the Godhead are never alone.  They are continuously, eternally aware of each other and they continuous, eternally feel the warmth of the love that they share.

I wouldn’t be surprised, in the life to come, if there weren’t ways for us to literally connect to one another and enter into a state where we could feel each other’s love just as the Trinity does.  Back in the 60’s they used to get groups together and have something that they called a “love in.”  They would get together and meditate and try to interact with each other in a way that was very gentle and kind.  Jesus said that a time will come when we will be one as the members of the Trinity are one.  I could see us getting together in heaven so that our spirits all touch, or overlapped, or even intermingled in some way and all get “high” together on pure love.  I could see an unborn baby spirit thriving as it rested gently as the focus of a group of adult spirits having a love in.

Also, this would enable the spirits that used to be male to occasionally take a break and play whatever the heavenly equivalent of golf might be.

Friend:  You’re terrible.

Me:  I’m just saying!  But the point is that the developing human spirit would never be alone and would always be able to feel the love.

Friend:  This is all very interesting and it sounds really neat, but basically it’s all just speculation, isn’t it?  You don’t have anything directly from the Bible to back it up, do you?

Me:  I guess I would refer to this as informed speculation.  I think these are fairly educated guesses, but they are guesses.  But I think the whole process of educated guesses can be very helpful.

Friend:  How so?

Me:  If you’ve lost a baby through a miscarriage, or if you lost a small child, it’s a wonderful comfort to think of that child being in heaven, but it’s all sort of nebulous.  I think we need to create vivid visuals to combat the other vivid visuals that will try and haunt us.

Friend:  Vivid visuals?

Me:  If you just lost a baby and then you see another woman who is pregnant that is a vivid visual.  You are seeing what you just missed out on.  If you had a chance to see your baby’s dead body, that is another vivid visual.  In that case you see the pregnant woman with your eyes and then you might see the dead body of the baby you lost with your imagination.  That’s a devastating one-two punch.

Friend:  I think that would be horrible.

Me:  I’m sure you’re right.  The question is, what are you going to do when that happens?  Do you have a plan?  Do you want to let those images stay in your mind and start munching away on your brain or do you want to have something to replace them with?

Friend:  So you imagine your unborn baby in heaven.

Me:  That’s exactly right.  Only you are not just imagining in the way you might have a daydream about being the winning quarterback in the Super Bowl.  You aren’t going to be a winning quarterback in the Super Bowl.  That’s a fantasy.  But the baby actually is in heaven.  The baby is surrounded by love.  The baby will never know the hurt and pain that you knew growing up.  No one will ever tease your baby.  No one will ever hurt you baby’s feelings.  No one will ever break your baby’s heart.  I would be as specific as possible with my vivid visualizations.

Friend:  What other details could you add?

Me:  Well, if you already have a grandmother up in heaven, who do you think is going to be first in line to take care of that child?  Who do you know in heaven who loves you?  Since they are in heaven they are already freed from the curse of sin.  They are never selfish or short tempered.  They live lives of perfect compassion.  They live in a state of constant serenity.  And if they know you and love you they are going to do everything they possibly can to take care of your baby.  And even if you don’t have anyone up there that you know about who loves you, there will be a long line of perfected human spirits just waiting for a chance to take care of your baby, whatever it’s state of development when it went to heaven.

Friend:  And one of those people might someday be you:  a pregnant man in heaven.

Me:  I’m looking forward to it.